Sunny day. Park Slope Brooklyn. "Batting zero," I said. "And?" He replied. "What’s the point?" I said. "That's the point," he said. "You’re not in the middle of it. Easy for you to say. Feel like eating six doughnuts," I replied. "How about riding your bike in the park? That always helps you." "Not this time," I muttered under my breath. "What did you say?" he asked. "Feel like screaming bloody murder," I said. "Are you alright?" He was starting to worry. "I’m 63 years old, turning 64 in August. My wrinkles are getting worse. My neck looks like a stretched-out rubber band, there’s age spots on my hands." "What’s that got to do with it?" he said "Everything, bloody everything." I was trying to use British swear words which sounded inaner than my usual “fuck it.” Age reducing creams and exercises have been flooding my email and Instagram pages a hundred-fold in the last 10 months. "Three new films to write grants for in the pike. Maybe this time?" he said. "I have no bloody idea." "That’s right," he said. "You don’t." "I’m stepping out for a walk." I said. "Whatever works," he replied. "Sure," I said. "Bloody sure."

LULU’s Tail

“SO CUTE!” said Abby. I just texted her Lulu’s picture. “Sometimes I wish I could pet her” said Abby. “Me toooooo” I texted back. “So cuddly” replied Abby. “OMG so cuddly and kisssssable” said I. “OH yes!” chimed Abby. “I’ll try and find more pictures on line,” I said. “Give me a couple of secs.” “I just want to scream!” texted Abby after I sent her two more piglet shots. Abby’s seven and she texts better than me. “oink” I shouted out to Abby. “oink, piggy” Abby quickly replied. “oink bedoink” said I. “diddley doink, bedounk. going deounk” Abby said. “loink.” texted I hardly able to contain my laughter. “acorn” said Abby also enclosing a representative emoji. I quickly dashed on line found a couple of acorns and texted them back to her in less than 5 seconds. “wow” shot back Abby. “don’t you need to go to bed? Cause I don’t want to weep” she continued. by this time I was laughing so loud, my stomach hurt. “okey dokey” I replied, finishing it with : “ciao mi amore.” Abby sent me back about 15 emojis: a pen, hammer, envelope with lips on it, a lemon and few other things I couldn’t figure out. Can’t wait to see her next week for Thanksgiving. This was just what the doctor ordered. I’d been a bit on the blue side of late. Lulu’s tail couldn’t been any sweeter.