Air Mattresses

It was between Alvin and the Chipmunks or Did You Hear About The Morgans? My half sister Nina, 17 was staying over night. I've got a huge family. Too complicated to explain right now. Anyway it was freezing. The movie theater was around the corner. Nina had been furiously IMing all her friends on Facebook to find out which movie was the best. Romantic comedies are always great. One of her "friends" replied after alot of no responses. But did she actually see the movie? I asked. No. Nina answered. We went on line to look at the trailers. They were both stupid. Torture. The Morgans won out. 9pm show. It bad. Badly written. Badly shot. Badly acted. No chemistry. And Hugh Grant's face was frozen in a perpetual state of fake pathetic forgive me because I've slept with another woman while we were married and I'm British so I can't get angry. At least that's how I'm being directed look. Even the "token" wild bear sucked.

I've got a studio so Nina gets my bed when she comes over and I get the air mattress.
I used to have one that blew up electrically. But I left it on one time so long one time that the indented areas blew up. My other sister Joanna brought hers from New Hampshire when she came to visit me for my birthday in August.

This one wasn't electric. It had this wimpy Minny plastic pump. Minny legs for little people to stand on when you bent over to pump up the mattress. I had to get it done fast. As usual. Pumping really fast. For a really long time. Got tired very quickly. Anyway success. And then. The air starting leaking! I kept lifting up the mattress to my ear crying out It's leaking. Wish I could call Joanna. I said. I could text my mom or you could call Aaron Nina chimed in. Aaron's my half brother from the third marriage. One of them. Don't ask. Too complicated. They're sleeping. I answered. It was half past midnight by this time. It's leaking I cried again. Now I'll have to sleep on an airless mattress. I said. Somehow I'll figure out a way to sleep on it. Nina said. No way. I said. We were Jewish and so the I'll be tortured all night so you don't have to fight began. I won.

The mattress was completely deflated by that time. You take the sheets and blankets and I'll take the comforter. I said. at least I can put half of it on the flat mattress and throw the rest of it over me. Goodbye delicious comforter. Nina said.

Needless to say it was a tough night. Kind of makes you wish you weren't skinny because sisal rug layered with an oriental carpet layered with a flat air mattress covered with a flat comforter doesn't soften the blow for your ribs.

(c) 2010