For Puff

Puff Hickson

photo by Ty Hickson

It ain't over. My friend Puff said. We were talking about making it in the music and film biz. I met her in 1996 and started to document her rap band for 4 years. Both of us have been struggling. Her band broke up. My mom got very ill and died in 2000.

Puff and I have always kept in touch. No matter what. She called me from Florida this time. Finally good things were happening for her.
She's talented as..... I was going to use expletives here but thought the better of it.

I just told her I had to close my film company and she caught me at a particularly low moment. I burst into tears. Don't give up. She continued. You are my "sistah"...well actually she said you are my Jew and I was supposed to respond you are my niggah. But I'm white. Very White. And I couldn't. I just couldn't. Ok said Puff ... then you're my Sistah! You're my Sistah!!! I shouted laughing.

It's like this, Puff said. There are two kinds of people out in the dry desert.... (I'm paraphrasing her here. She is so funny and eloquent, very real and very rough)....One who can see water in the distance because he has faith. The other can't even see a mirage. I burst out laughing again.

So it may seem like you are down for the count. She continued. But you're gonna get up. I promise you. It's like this. Then she went into this elaborate description of an old fashioned fighting ring and the underdog was down for the count. He was beaten, bloody but he got up. He got up at the count of 9. All the judges were asking themselves "how did he do it?" "how the hell did he do it?" and the announcer was going mad crazy "He's up" he shouted excitedly. "He's up!" That's you and that's me Puff concluded. Just when you think you're down for the count you will get up. Trust me. We come from two different worlds but you will always be my soul mate until we die. So it ain't over, you hear me? Besides I still have that 20 million dollar check coming to me.

I love her. We have gone through so much together. The film is lying in pieces on my kitchen floor. I know she's going to make it. I just know it and I can't wait to see her at the Grammys. Funny but I don't really care about making it "big" in the film biz anymore.

Inspiration and hope can come from the oddest places. Angels on earth are the ordinary people we ignore everyday. Extraordinary because they're ordinary. If you want to find one...you'll have to look very, very hard. And maybe, just maybe you'll be lucky.

I'm very lucky. My eyes are open all the time. That why I saw my angel. She's with me all the time. She's a beat poet. A photographer. A filmmaker. A rapper. A mom. Her name is Puff Hickson. And she lives in Harlem.